Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Thoughts for my friend

A good friend of mine recently found out she is expecting her second child. She's excited, and scared, and wondering, I think, how this new little person will fit in her family. It seemed inappropriate to leave a novel as a comment on her blog, but this is MY blog so I can do what I want.

I think all mothers, when they find out they are pregnant with a second child, wonder if they can possibly love this second one like they do their firstborn. Because your firstborn is the only person you've ever felt that incredibly protective, mama-tiger type love for. It's a totally different love than what you feel for your parents, or your spouse, or anyone else. And the truth, for me, is that on the day Adia was born I didn't feel the same about her as I did about Trea. But I was comparing my feelings for a newborn with the relationship I had with my two-and-a-half year old, who talks, and whom I know. Within 24 hours I started to know Adia as well, and within two days I realized that I couldn't imagine not having her.

And it becomes easy to love that baby as much as your firstborn. In fact, if your firstborn is a toddler, there will inevitably be a time when you are cuddling or nursing the baby and the toddler decides that now would be an excellent time to scale the furniture and decorate the walls. . .at which point you will look down at the sweet, innocent baby who is NOT testing your patience, and wonder how you ever could have worried about not loving her.

Not that I've had that happen to me.

Everyone told me I would love my second as much as my first. They were right. What no one mentioned was how incredible it was going to be to watch my kids together. To see Trea try to make sure the baby is covered up (with her blanket), or to watch Trea creep over to a sleeping Adia and tuck her favorite doll under her arm. She wants to feed her (sorry, Trea, Adia cannot eat chocolate-covered pretzels yet) and play with her. She keeps trying to put blocks in Adia's hands, so Adia can play too. And Adia lights up when she hears Trea's voice, and watches her every move. I love that they will have each other. Even after John and I are gone, they will have each other.

To my friend - you're giving your child another person to love, and be loved by. You'll never regret it.


suprbacana said...

Awesome thoughts Kristen. I think having kids helps us know how the Lord feels about all his children....even the ones who test His patience. :-)

Kimberly said...

I had these worries about Colin when I first got pregnant, but I've already bonded with him...and I haven't even met him yet! It's nice to hear it, though.

That's sweet about Trea helping. I've heard from multiple sources that boys are not quite the same (my friend and I decided, with 2nd kids, girls "mother" and boys "smother"). Wish me luck!