Friday, September 09, 2011

Preparing

My mom died on July 15th. She'd had cancer for about a year, and been through chemo and surgery. It spread anyway, and she decided to discontinue treatment - well, I don't know exactly when she decided, I found out on July 5th.

After she died, a friend of mine was expressing his condolences and I mentioned that we had time, we knew it was coming. And he said,"How do you prepare for something like that?"

I've been thinking about that ever since. How do you prepare to lose your mom? So this is my experience.

You tell her thank you for the things she taught you. You reassure her that she did an amazing job as a mom, that her efforts to teach you about faith, honesty, kindness, and forgiveness worked. You tell her you'll be ok, that she doesn't need to worry because you are as strong as she raised you to be. You thank her for as many things as you can remember, knowing you'll forget some but hoping it will kind of count.

And then you start praying. First, for a confirmation that this really is the Lord's will. You pray to be reconciled to it. You pray for comfort, for peace, to know how to comfort and help her. You pray for strength to endure, and for her to have the same.

All this so when the time comes that she asks you to pray for the end to come quickly, you can. Even though the very last thing you want to pray for is your mother's death, she taught you to have faith, that death is not the end. And you know that if YOUR mother, with her almost limitless capacity to endure, has reached her limit, then, well, she also taught you to be compassionate.

You pray and you pray, and when the phone rings, you know she's gone.

And that's how you prepare for something like that.

1 comment:

Amy said...

She sure raised some pretty great kids. We love you guys.