Friday, July 26, 2013

Maybe I'm just cheap, but. . .

The local classifieds have an entire section devoted to Home & Garden. I love browsing this section; the Farmer's Market, in particular, I love. Yesterday, out of curiosity, I decided to browse the ads under the "Fertilizer" heading. There were a few people selling their spreaders, a few bags of commercial fertilizer, and a number of farmers offering composted steer and/horse manure. Most the the farmers were either giving it away, or selling it very cheap - like $10 for an entire pickup load, which they would load for you. Completely reasonable, I thought.

Then there was the rabbit manure.

This lady was offering to sell her rabbits' manure. For $3 a GALLON. I'm tempted to call her. I imagine the conversation would go like this:

Me: Hi, I'm calling about your rabbit manure. I have a few questions.
Lady: Okay.
Me: What do you feed your rabbits?
Lady: Oh, it's completely natural food. Nothing artificial at all!
Me: Oh, great. So, how old is this rabbit manure?
Lady: It's pretty fresh. But the great thing about rabbit manure is that it's a cold manure, no need to compost it.
Me.: Okay, great. You know, it's very important to me that my manure come from happy rabbits. (I would be totally joking about this, but she's trying to sell manure for $3 a gallon. I think she's asking for people to mess with her a little.) I believe all living things are connected and happy rabbits will produce better manure. On a scale of 1 to ten, how happy are your rabbits?
Lady: Um. . .a nine?
Me: Nine. Great. So it's three dollars a gallon?
Lady: Yes.
Me: Okay, one last question. . .  
Lady: Yes?
Me: You get that this is POOP, right?

Maybe I should buy some. For that price, my tomatoes better grow like Jack's beanstalk.

Or maybe I should just get a rabbit. The kids want a pet anyway.

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